Get more out of your life!

In the last 15 years, positive psychology has made a big leap forward as a kind of reaction against classical psychology that mainly analyses problems and behaviours when something goes wrong.

Positive psychology examines what you can learn from people who feel good about themselves, people who are efficient and effective and who know how to deal with the problems they encounter. The focus is on human strength instead of weakness, where strengths are further developed.

Here we summarise 7 different principles that you can use to feel better about yourself, and which can help you to influence that ‘happiness’ experience. These principles are based on scientific findings about happiness and mental health.

1. Live towards your goals
2. Invest in relationships
3. Think positively
4. Be aware of yourself
5. Live here and now
6. Take control of your life
7. Lead a healthy and active life

Without goals in life, you run the risk of being lived. A goal gives direction to your life and helps you to distinguish the important things from the unimportant. If you know who you are and what you want to achieve, you also get more satisfaction from life.

In addition to the positive effects that achieving your goals entails, you can also get pleasure and satisfaction from working towards your goal. Sometimes you can be very concentrated and immerse yourself in the things you're doing (flow). Happy people often seem to be in this state of flow.

Positive relationships are an important source of support, pleasure and well-being. This is true of all kinds of social relationships: family, friendships, work, love and marriage. Positive relationships don't just guarantee a good feeling. A positive mood also ensures that you tend to make contact more easily and react positively to others. Others in turn then react positively towards you. If you want to work on positive relationships, you must start with yourself. After all, you have the most influence on your own behaviour and less on that of others.

Working on positive relationships means:

• being nice to others
• communicating clearly
• recognising positive qualities in others
• having time for and paying attention to people you care about

Look on the bright side of life, instead of just focusing on what goes wrong. Positive thinking helps to feel different (and better). Optimism, positive thoughts and less worrying greatly enhances your sense of happiness. In various events in your life there is a connection between what you think, what you feel and what you do.

• what you do affects what you think and feel
• what you think affects what you feel and do
• what you feel affects what you do and think

The way you think about yourself determines ho you feel to a large extent. Put yourself on a pedestal for once. Pay attention to the things you are good at and use your strengths. Enjoy the little things in life that make you feel positive and give yourself a little extra from time to time! Positive feelings, such as pleasure, humour, interest and satisfaction, create a good mood. Positive feelings have an important function. People with more positive feelings:

• make friends more easily
• can handle stress better
• resolve conflicts quicker
• are more creative
• get more support from their environment
• become ill less quickly

You have an influence on the extent to which you experience positive feelings. Consciously or subconsciously, you yourself often choose a particular feeling. If you choose an optimistic outlook, you will experience positive feelings more often. Naturally, difficult situations also arise in a person’s life. For example, the death of a loved one, having a serious illness or living through some other traumatic experience. At such times it is only natural for you to have feelings of sadness, anger or fear for a long period. It's also normal in daily life to experience both positive and negative feelings. You can, however, choose which feelings to emphasise.

Turn off your autopilot and pay attention to your daily life. This way you are truly present in the 'here and now' and you experience your life more intensely. This can give you a feeling of satisfaction and ensures that you struggle less when something bad happens.

Living with awareness does not mean that you have to be content or happy all the time, but in time you will become more balanced in this regard. You are less severely upset and for a shorter time when something bad happens. And the good news is that you can learn to live with awareness. However, it's not a trick. It's more of a general attitude to life.

Do not run away from problems, but face them. Make a distinction between the things you do and do not have a grip on. When you do not have control over the situation, it’s better to try to accept it. Focus your energy on things that you can change. People who experience that they have control over their lives:

• are healthier
• learn better
• are better problem-solvers
• are more productive at work
• protect themselves better against stress

Everyone has to deal with stress or problems:

• minor and everyday, such as an angry customer at work or a small conflict with your partner.
• drastic, stressful, such as losing your job or losing a loved one.

If you are (seriously) hampered by your problems in your daily life, you are better off seeing your GP. This is also true if you have other issues besides your concerns, for example if you are suffering from sleep deprivation, concentration problems and fatigue.

In order to live life to the fullest, it is essential to go through life feeling fit. A balanced diet, enough exercise, healthy weight and sufficient sleep are important pillars in this. Each one influences not only your physical condition but also your mental well-being. Through a balanced diet you can get the necessary nutrients. The active food pyramid can help you here. A balanced diet ensures that your body functions optimally and that you feel better in yourself.

By taking sufficient exercise you can relax more easily, sleep better, boost your concentration and feel good about yourself, allowing you, for example, to reduce your feelings of anxiety or depression. The result of a balanced diet and sufficient exercise is a healthy weight. This also ensures that you can complete daily activities more easily and are troubled less by physical discomforts, which means you also feel better at ease with yourself. Finally, a refreshing sleep ensures that you process the events of the previous day both physically and mentally and replenish your energy to be able to face the next day's tasks. Getting a good night's sleep makes you less irritable, lethargic or moody and helps you concentrate better.